Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Making Quilts for Others

I like to make quilts. It is fun to play with the colors, shapes and patterns. Baby quilts are just about my favorite. Quick and easy! Almost immediate satisfaction!

In 1996, I made the first of over 100 baby quilts--all for babies born at my church. It went to Tracy Biddolph's little baby. Her husband stood up in the men's meeting, touched by the gesture, and told everyone there about how his grandmother used to make quilts for every important family occasion. He had quilts she'd made for his birth, baptism, graduation; but she had recently passed away, and he'd felt sad when he thought how his child wouldn't have a quilt from great-grandmother. That was, until I gave them that quilt. It made him feel like she'd given him one anyway--I was just the method used to deliver it! Pretty sweet. I was glad to have been a part of it.

I really had a good time making all those quilts. The Relief Society (our women's group at church) helped out financially for a while, giving me money to help defray the cost of my supplies. By the time we ran out of budget, I was the R.S. secretary and the president and 2 counselors all chipped in to help the quilt project. This, of course, got them their names on the labels! Eventually I was released as secretary and thought it would be a good time to retire from baby quilt making, at least for everyone at church. Mormons have lots of babies! My life was stressful as it was, and to make 10 to 12 quilts a year, sometimes more, wasn't always easy. People came to expect those quilts. I liked making them--I liked giving them away and making people smile. It was nice to glance across the chapel and see sweet little babies wrapped in my quilts! And..there is so much cute fabric out there, baby quilts are an easy and fun way to play with it. Not only that, but all the practice I was getting really helped improve my quilting skills! But..the downside was also that people expected to get a quilt. As if it was their due. This made me feel a bit abused after a while. It started when I gave a quilt to a woman for her baby and she made a remark about how she's been wondering when she'd get hers. It sounded as though she thought I was a slacker--what had taken me so long? Sigh. Not even a thank you. Do you know that very few people write thank you cards, much less even say "thank you" anymore?" It is a sad thing. After that, I decided to cut back, only making quilts for people I knew and liked. There is one young mother in particular. I have made quilts for all but one of her children. They, unfortunately, moved away for a while--and I missed making a quilt for their son. She is so sweet. She sends a thank you note each time and even gives me a photo of the baby with the quilt. Maybe that seems like a small thing to most people, but it makes me feel my efforts--and quilts--are appreciated.

I have been making fewer baby quilts for the babies at church. Not being in the adult class (I teach the three year old's), I haven't gotten to know many of the new families who have moved into our ward. We have a lot of young couples who move in--and out--at church, since our ward boundaries encompass several apartment complexes. Now, however, there are a few women at church whom I do know, who are expecting...so I figured I would make them baby quilts. I recently asked one of them if she knew what she was having yet--and she snapped at me, "I'm having a baby, what did you think I was having, PUPPIES?" Ookay, so that nipped in the bud any desire whatsoever that I had to make her a quilt! It isn't as though she didn't know why I was asking; I made a quilt for her little boy when he was born. It's always nice to know if I should haul out the baby girl fabric, or the baby boy fabric. However...no worries. That rude remark has convinced me--I am done making baby quilts for babies at church...unless, of course, it's for one of my 3 year old's siblings OR one of the sweet people who actually have sent or even said "thank you" when I've given them a quilt in the past. Even now, I'm finding loopholes in my determination! lol I just need to remember, when I start thinking about making a baby quilt for someone at church, to think of...puppies!

Btw, having a grandchild--I do have an outlet for baby quilts I may want to make. Well, Aurora has nine of them from Grandma! That might be enough for now. My plan is to stockpile some for future generations, just in case, like Brother Biddolph's grandmother, something happens to me and I'm not here to make grandbaby quilts in person. Fortunately, all of my offspring appreciate ol' Mom's quilts. :-)

4 comments:

Joan said...

Wow Yvonne - well said. The sense of entitlement or simple lack of appreciation for the time and effort and cost, all contribute to a major reason to take back the controls. Make them for friends and family AS YOU CHOOSE, and don't worry about what others think. It's your hobby so it's your choice who becomes a recipient of your talent and generosity. Just know that real friends love you no matter what.

Bonnie Bell Anderson said...

My first "Yvonne" quilt was for #6, and Tom and Jeff were our home teachers at the time, so they actually tied some of it to add their touch, and get their name on the "from" square too. It was a wonderful gesture of love. #7's quilt is now 7 years old, it' so cute - I love it, and still cuddle up on the couch with it from time to time. It has held up very well. I think it's amazing that you made as many quilts as you did. You're awesome! I'm glad one pregnant woman's unthinking remark won't stop you from making ANY more quilts.

Yvonne said...

Thank you for your kind words--I liked making quilts for YOUR babies!! Never fear, I won't stop making quilts...just going to be more selective whom I make them for. ooooh well.

Annie said...

Your post touched my heart and I firmly agree that it is just too difficult to make quilts for those who don't appreciate them and give you no thank yous in return.

It does make your heart soar when you get remarks as from Mommy Anderson, doesn't it? That enables you to keep going and making those sweet baby quilts.

I donate all my quilts to Project Linus in various sizes.....just assuming someone will love them.


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